The lasting effects of Childhood Trauma: How instability impacts adult behavior

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Childhood is meant to be a time of security, love, and growth, but for many, it’s marked by trauma and instability. These early experiences leave lasting imprints on our behavior, often shaping how we interact with the world well into adulthood. One of the most common and damaging ways this manifests is the tendency to “walk on eggshells”—constantly monitoring and modifying our behavior to avoid conflict or rejection.

The Roots of Walking on Eggshells

For children who grow up in environments of emotional unpredictability, neglect, or abuse, survival often depends on reading the moods and reactions of those around them. They learn to anticipate anger, soothe tension, and avoid triggering negative responses from caregivers. Over time, this hyper-vigilance becomes ingrained, leading to a perpetual state of anxiety and self-censorship.

The Impact on Adult Behavior

As adults, those who experienced trauma or instability in childhood may continue to walk on eggshells, even when the threat is no longer present. This behavior can manifest in several ways:

  • Fear of Conflict: Adults who have internalised the need to avoid conflict may struggle to express their needs, set boundaries, or assert themselves in relationships. This can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and a lack of fulfillment.
  • People-Pleasing: The desire to keep the peace can translate into people-pleasing behavior. Adults may go to great lengths to meet the expectations of others, even at the cost of their own well-being, in an attempt to avoid disapproval or rejection.
  • Hyper-Vigilance: Constantly scanning the environment for signs of danger or disapproval can lead to chronic anxiety and stress. This heightened state of alertness can make it difficult to relax, trust others, or feel secure.
  • Difficulty in Relationships: Walking on eggshells can hinder the development of healthy, authentic relationships. The fear of being vulnerable or upsetting others can prevent deep emotional connections, leading to loneliness and isolation.

Steps Toward Healing

While the effects of childhood trauma and instability can be profound, they are not insurmountable. Healing begins with recognizing these patterns and understanding their origins. Therapy can be a powerful tool for unpacking these behaviors and learning healthier ways to relate to oneself and others.

Building self-awareness and self-compassion is crucial. This involves acknowledging that the need to walk on eggshells is a learned response to past trauma, not a reflection of your worth or capabilities. With time, patience, and the right support, it is possible to break free from these patterns and cultivate a sense of safety and stability within oneself.

In the end- childhood trauma and instability can have deep and lasting impacts on behavior, leading many to walk on eggshells as adults. However, by understanding these behaviors and taking steps to heal, it is possible to create a more fulfilling and authentic life. The journey may be challenging, but it is one that leads to greater self-awareness, healthier relationships, and a more peaceful inner world.

If you are ready to break free from old patterns and behaviors, and heal from “walking on eggshells” get in touch today. Holistic counselling sessions with Phillipa are available online and in person within the Blue Mountains.

Let’s Chat!

Email: wunjo.hw@gmail.com

Phone: 0478532101

Instagram: @wunjo.holistic.counselling